Swings

Basic, everyday discipline is something that has always seemed to elude me. I've been struggling in many and various ways for quite some time. So, while I can't make any promises about posting here with any kind of regularity, I hope that I will post more often, now that I've decided not to post only when I have pictures to post.

What disturbs me most about my lack of discipline is that it generally seems to equal laziness. It's not complete and total laziness, but it is basically doing what needs to get done and relaxing the rest of the time. It seems I've always had a tendency to be at rest, which is part of why I try to keep busy doing outside things. If I wasn't busy doing outside things, I probably would become a hermit, living vicariously through my computer.

So, in an effort to shake off a little sloth, I went for a walk tonight. It was cool, but comfortable enough with a jacket and scarf. It's cloudy, but not damp or windy. I had a very productive hour, walking and processing and praying.

On the way home I passed a playground and decided to go in and sit on a swing for a minute. I found myself pondering: why do we find pleasure in playing on a swing? To put these thoughts in better perspective, at an earlier point in my walk I was pondering how much all the good, pleasant things in life are mere shadows of God's goodness; all the pleasure we could ever find in this life is insignificant compared with the privilege of drawing near to God. So, in that frame of mind, I began to put it to an analogy of spiritual things. There are two ways to play on a swing. You can be pushed, or you can pump. I think it was at some point during kindergarten that I learned how to pump on a swing. You know, move your body, stretch and bend your legs so that you can actually swing higher all by yourself. If you are pushed, you have very little way of controlling how high you go. You're at the mercy of your pusher. If you want to go higher, and they don't feel like pushing you anymore, you have to beg them again and again to push you higher. On the flip side, if you're ready to be done, but they keep pushing you, despite your begging to be let off, your only two choices are to hang on and ride it out, or let go and fall off.

Now, as with any analogy, it breaks down, because a swing doesn't really take you anywhere, and eventually you leave it behind in the park and go home. At first, I thought of pumping as the action of leading a disciplined life, where you go higher, but lose out on a bit of relationship. But the more I think of it, I wonder if simply sitting down and holding on is the basic discipline. I wonder if I'm just a bit afraid of asking God to push me higher because I fell off once. Is the pumping or pleading to be pushed representative of all prayer and praise and reading the word?
I think, people can swing in different ways to different heights, but if sitting down on the swing is repentance and holding on is trust in Jesus, that is all that is needed.