Come, Lord Jesus, Come, Holy Spirit

"Jesus answered [Nicodemus], "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and of the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying 'You must be born again.' The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." -John 3:5-8

It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson, and I still forget sometimes: I have no control over the salvation of anyone. I thank God that there is nothing that I can do to save someone, nor anything I can do or fail to do which would condemn someone. God desires, even requires my obedience, for my own sake as His child, but nothing depends on me. As Jesus said "The wind blows wherever it pleases." That was especially evident this week.

I haven't read for Project Ezra for several weeks, but last weekend I couldn't resist the urge to go and read in at least one park. I'm still not sure why I stopped before, on one hand, God wasn't sustaining me in it as he had been, and on the other hand I was getting a little self-righteous and needed to pull back and restore my focus on Him rather than on my activities. I suppose God just took the wind out of my sails. This week, the wind started blowing again.

It's the last week of the school year, and I wanted to do a special class for all of my kids. In addition to making Christmas cards with a nativity coloring picture that my friend gave me, I wanted to write a short explanation of the meaning of Christmas on the board. So I asked my boss, can we put "Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord," up on the whiteboard? Even with the Japanese verse alongside it, she felt none of the kids would understand it. So instead of a bible verse, we put up: "Christmas Day: Today a special baby has been born. His name is Jesus. He has come to save us!" Then I wrote a simple Japanese translation as well.

It was very interesting to see where the wind would blow. It seemed like my fourth grade classes were the most responsive. One little girl said to me, (in Japanese) "Isn't Jesus the one who was nailed to the cross?" That opened the door for me to share the Gospel with her, that he died on that cross to take away the bad things we've done so that we don't have to be punished, if we trust in him. In more than one class, someone asked, "Is that a true story?" To which could testify my faith that it is, and one child then asked, "Were you there when it happened?" I said no, because it was over 2,000 years ago, but I wish I could have been there. Then another girl said she was probably there, assuming she had been reincarnated. But I said, no, each person only dies once. The conversations weren't very long, but they were exciting. I hadn't realized that there were still some kids that didn't understand why we have Christmas.

Online, I found a word search that involved reading Luke's account of the birth of Christ and finding certain highlighted words. I printed it, not even sure if I could use it, but my boss encouraged me to try it with my high school kids for reading practice. Although it was hard to read how they felt about it, they were determined to finish even though it meant going late.

Sometimes, it feels as if there is very little I can do. But the truth is, there is nothing I can do but be obedient to what the Holy Spirit is leading me into. I can't even desire to share my faith without God moving in me; how much less can I be responsible for making my students or friends eager to hear about it. But when the door opens, I still do have a choice: testify or remain silent. Yet from the love God has placed in my heart for these students, it's not much of a choice, because I really want to tell them. The opportunities come, the word is spoken, and the door closes, but I continue to trust that God is in control and will bring to that person all that he desires. Sometimes it is hard to trust, I want to finish the job and enjoy seeing them come to faith, be born again, and enjoy new life in Christ. But God is teaching me that it's not about what I want, but about His will and His glory.