The dinner "date"

Beware, this post is really long.
More on my 'oh so crazy life'...

First let me explain how I got into this 'situation.'
I was talking to some of my students about a week and a half ago, and happened to mention that I want to stay in Niigata, but I'm looking for a job. Well, they did a bit to work on helping me find one, but at the end of the conversation they teased me: 'You know, Betsy, the easiest way to stay in Japan is to get married.' Then again they almost seemed half serious when they mentioned someone in particular.

So I was a little bit unnerved when I had a message on my cell phone voice mail that evening. The name was mumbled so I couldn't recognize it, then he said in English: "I heard that next year, you are going back to the United States. Really? I want to have supper or dinner with you.." and the message was cut off.

I panicked and prayed about what to do. I don't know this person!! Why should I call him back? This is kind of scary... and yet I felt the Holy Spirit prodding me to call him back. I felt awkward about just calling back using the caller ID function on my cell phone, to call some one up and ask 'who is this?' So I dialed the number, let it ring once, and then hung up.

As I suspected, he called me back, and then I could comfortably ask his name. As it turns out, it's someone I met nearly a year ago, and had seen again recently. I was so relieved to find that it was someone I already knew, that I chatted with him a while and agreed to have dinner with him. As it turns out, there was no connection whatsoever to my students.

After I got off the phone, I thought 'what have I just gotten myself into?!' I comforted myself with the thought that I might have to cancel because that night would possibly be for the welcome party for the highschool.
However, on Friday when I found out that the party would be on an entirely different night, I emailed him to let him know for sure that I could go. I guess I was kind of looking at it like just going to dinner with a friend. He was planning to go see our band competition that Sunday, so afterward we planned where we would go. He was supposed to be giving me directions, and he kind of did, but then asked if he could pick me up. Well, I figured that would save me on gas and parking, since the place he wanted to go was not so closeby, and parking always costs. The main reason he wanted to have dinner with me was so we could have more time to talk (and if you could hear his attempts at English, you would understand why it would take a long time!). So I also figured that if we rode together we could talk in the car too. So, okay then, it's settled. I'm going.

On Monday he emailed me, thanking me for meeting him Sunday in order to arrange our dinner, and also telling me that he was going to the Buddhist temple to pray for 9/11 (that Monday was September 11 '06).

What? Excuse me? Hello! This is no date, this is no simple dinner, this is outright spiritual warfare!!

For the entire week, my focus on God kicked into high gear and I did everything I know spiritually to prepare myself for battle.

True, it's possible he just said it to try to impress me (as though any religion is just fine, as long as you are religious), or show me how much he cares about America.

But very few Japanese even want to hear anything about religion, so it was a bit unusual. It seemed certainly best to me to be on my guard.

In the morning on the day of the date, I had planned to get up early for prayer and bible study, but slept in so I only had an hour and a half before I had to leave. I prayed about what to do, and God said 'go for a walk.'

The seriousness and earnestness I had excersized all week was good, but it was lacking the joy and love for God that the Lord wants most in our response to Him. I had begun to get a bit legalistic with myself. God restored to me that morning the joy of salvation, and showed me that while sincerity and dedication is good, it cannot be done right if I'm neglecting love.

F. picked me up from the church, since I was just finishing my work there, and he already knew where it was because he attended a praise hour there last year. He chatted with the pastor and his wife, and with Laura, while I finished cleaning up my stuff from class and got my things together.

I think one of his main purposes in wanting to talk with me was musical. One of his tuba students in the band was hoping to ask me to play the horn part in a brass quintet, but felt awkward asking me directly, as so many Japanese do.

The majority of what we talked about was music and religion. Denominational differences (primarily between Catholic and Protestant) came up during the ride there, and I've developed the habit of using that as way to share the Gospel ("There are lots of differences, like the offices of priest vs. pastor, but the one thing all denominations have in common is that Jesus died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sin, then rose again.") During dinner, he said there was something he really wanted to ask me about. "What is sin?" So I launched in as best I could in Japanese, beginning with the original sin of not only Adam and Eve but the bad angels and how all sin basically amounts to a selfish desire to want to somehow replace God. I talked for 20 minutes or more and gave examples and witnessed the Gospel. The entire time, all I felt was a flood of love for my Lord Jesus, and an abounding joy I've never fully experienced before. I really think that God took over and the Holy Spirit spoke through me, not only because of how I felt, but because of what F said when I was finished. I can't remember exactly if he used the word 'shiawase' or 'ureshii,' either of which can be translated happiness or blessedness. But supposing he only meant happy, he said he felt exceedingly happy to hear what I had said, and also to see that I am so happy in what I believe.

He also said later on he was surprised that I didn't attack him for his Buddhist faith, but asked him about what prayer means to him. I have been realizing for awhile now, that it can be really good to ask other people questions about what they believe. If I hesitated to before, I think it was because I was afraid that my faith wasn't strong enough, and by hearing what they believe, my faith would somehow be weakened. But the more I hear about others' faith, the more foolish it sounds to me. It's still respectful to them, because I don't come out and tell them my opinion, and I figure that if it sounds foolish to me, eventually it will sound foolish to them also. But even though he said he didn't feel 'attacked,' I know that the Holy Spirit was using me to attack the hardness in his heart, in the gentle way that only God knows how to do.

After that conversation, I knew the evening had been a success, that it was truly God's will that I go. The whole time I thought of it as work, not pleasure. People who knew I was going said "have a good time," but I honestly didn't think I would. But after awhile, when he went to the washroom, I looked at the time and was surprised that three hours had passed! We talked for awhile more before we left the restaurant, he let me pay for my half, and he took me home (back to the church, where my car was parked). I can honestly say that I did have a good time.

I still firmly believe that I should not seriously date a man who doesn't belong to the Lord. In Japan, a couple isn't considered serious until the third date, but I know I still need to be careful. My current policy is: if he asks me, I'll go, but you can be sure I'll be so 'salty' and so full of love for God, that he'll either not want to go out with me again, or he'll want to go to church, so if he really likes me he can just meet me there.

F is planning to come to the Praise Hour next Sunday. But in all fairness, he was planning to come even before we went out.